


how very

by bestofwaifusbestofwomen



Series: the very 'verse [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Hamilton - Miranda, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Dark Comedy, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, again im sorry, for hamilton at least, i mean......sorry ig??, mostly - Freeform, not between john and alex but like here and there, step-brothers au, unless no one likes this then ig its fine, whoever came up with that was galaxy-brained
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 15,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22732573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestofwaifusbestofwomen/pseuds/bestofwaifusbestofwomen
Summary: Go to school, they said. It'll be fun, they said. (ft lots of bad things happening to some morally grey characters.)--Disclaimer!! This is incomplete, and will probably remain that way. I've pretty fully fallen out of  these fandoms, but I still think it's pretty charming for what it is?? so here y’all go, I hope you like reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it <3
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Christine Canigula & Zoe Murphy
Series: the very 'verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/866691
Kudos: 13





	1. the intro

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this when I was a freshman in high school and now I'm a senior, so the writing is... not the best?? But hey, some of what I had I was really proud of, and still am, so maybe it should come to see the light of day?? Diz and I both worked on the plot to make sure the four musicals would fit together well into a cohesive story, and I guess I wanted to show off our work, haha. 
> 
> it kinda cringe, but it cute, too. Hope you enjoy!!

“ _ On the outside, always lookin’ in _

_ Will I ever be more than I’ve always been? _

_ We could be beautiful!! _

_...just not today. _

_ C-c-c-c’mon! C-c-c-c’mon! Go, go! _

_ Just you wait! _ ”

* * *

_ September 4, 2018 _

_ Dear diary… _

* * *

“Oh, come  _ on _ !” Jeremy hissed at his buffering computer screen. 

“Jeremy! You're going to be late!” Ms. Hansen called from downstairs. 

“Got it, I'll be down soon!” He sighed and stood, pulling his pants back on. There went all of his time to jack it; he was going to be tense and nervous all day 

which is 

not new, per se, but he'll be tense and nervous for...more time than usual, which is always unpleasant. 

“Chin up! After all, things are looking up for us, right?” She was saying to Evan, attempting to give him an optimistic hug, and Jeremy shared a wince with him over her head as he walked into the kitchen. “And, hey!” Ms. Hansen turned and gave him a hug too before ushering the two of them out the door and into her car. “This year, you and Jeremy will get the chance to really  _ bond _ !” Ah, that's right, he had spent the summer avoiding his dad, his dad’s fiancé, and her son by going over to Michael’s every day. That  _ might've _ backfired. “I know! Why don't you introduce him to some of your friends, Jeremy? It sure would help Evan out a lot, wouldn't it, dear?”

“Uhh...sure thing, Ms. Hansen.” Except for the fact that he’s such a loser that he doesn't have any friends besides Michael, but he's not gonna mention  _ that _ to her. 

“You can call me Heidi if you want, hon!” He muttered something nondescript in response as they pulled up to the high school. “I'm so proud of you two!” She called to them. Jeremy turned back in time to watch her place her head in her hands and groan before driving off. 

Evan seemed to be waiting for him to move, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “Look,” Jeremy started.

Evan jumped. “NonoIgetit! If you don’t want to introduce me to your friends I totally get it like I’m not like the, _y’know_ , kind of person you’d want to introduce yourself, I mean not _your_ self, what am I even saying--”

“Nonononono! I just. I thought I should mention that I just don’t. Have any friends, I mean. Besides Michael.” Jeremy flushed. Great. Perfect start to the day, showing your future step-brother just how big a  _ loser _ you really are.  _ God. _ He sighed, bringing a hand down his face before turning away and entering the school.

* * *

The students here weren’t as nice as Alex had imagined them to be. That’s not to say that they weren’t kind to  _ him _ ; even if the rather-stereotypical-jock-types had leered at him throughout his classes, many of the girls had swooned over his accent, and people swooning over him was  _ always  _ going to be a plus. But there was a strange amount of bullying going on, even more than he’d expected. For example, he’d seen a guy get pushed into the lockers and get called gay after doing nothing but walking down the hallways while listening to music. 

Aaron pushed open the door to the lunchroom.

Alex looked at the other boy through the side of his eyes. “So, hey. Is Westerburg  _ always _ like this?” He gestured around vaguely as a girl got her lunch tray smacked by one of the aforementioned dickheads. 

Aaron led him to a round table with three other boys. “Unfortunately. Word of advice, Hamilton?” He glanced back at him with a smile playing on his lips. “Keep your head down if you don’t wanna end up like  _ them _ .” He nodded over at the girl and her friend; another of the jocks smirked down at her before poking her in the middle of her forehead, causing her to stumble back as the circle of students around them laughed. 

“Wait. ‘Keep your head down’? Why the hell would I do that?”

One of the boys sat the table spoke up, “Burr lives by this motto of his: ‘Talk less, smile more.’ He likes to think that it’ll help him live life.” The boy grinned at him, hazel eyes sparkling. He stuck his hand out, which Alex shook. “‘Sup. John Laurens.”

“Hercules Mulligan! Nice to meet you.”

“Et je m’appelle,” the other two rolled their eyes at each other and began to mouth along to his words, “Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette. But you can call me Lafayette.” He winked with a perfectly-winged eye.

He nodded back at them. “Wow. Um. Enchanté. I'm Alexander Hamilton.” 

“Now that that's out of the way… It's not wrong to assume that my ‘motto’,” Aaron made air-quotes with his fingers, “as you say, would help us survive Westerburg. This school is pretty much the equivalent of the Cornucopia.” 

“But if you  _ fight _ in the Cornucopia, rather than run away, then you have access to better supplies,” Alex countered. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. 

“But if you avoid confrontation, then you guarantee survival.”

“Oh c’mon, Aaron. This isn't the Hunger Games.” John’s eyes were still sparkling as he watched them go back and forth. “No one’s gonna die from fighting back.”

“Exactly.  _ Thank _ you, Laurens.”

“No, John, don't encourage him!”

Alex swung an arm around him and proclaimed, “I think this is the start of a wonderful friendship,” with a wide grin. And John --who had very  _ very _ pretty eyes, Alex was starting to notice-- grinned back at him.

* * *

And then, there were the Heathers. The very definition of powerful and bold and beautiful. Untouchable. Practically goddesses. And everybody knows that you don't fuck with goddesses. 

_ God _ , what Veronica would give to be one of them. 

And she wasn't the only one. Everyone wanted  _ something _ from the Heathers, mostly to befriend them or to fuck them. Doing either of those would be a sure fire way to the top of Westerburg’s social ladder. 

The entire world would probably stop if the Heathers asked for it to. As it was, the entire cafeteria had come to a stop to stare at the Heathers in awe. They could probably make their way up to the rest of the world. 

She heard Brooke whispering to Chloe from several feet away, “I wish we could sit at their table,” and she snorted. Even the Hottest Girls in School were left groveling at the Heathers’ feet, constantly trying to get on their good side. Like, their underlings, almost. It made sense, though. They were an entire year younger, and no matter how bitchy  _ they _ were, the Heathers made it pretty clear who the  _ alpha _ bitches were. 

A Geek scrambled out of the Heathers’ path, pressing himself against the wall. Martha whispered to her, “What I'd give for them to be  _ nicer _ .”

Then, the Schuyler Sisters entered the cafeteria, breaking through the time-stopping spell everyone had been in. If the Heathers were goddesses, then these guys were angels. Quite possibly the kindest popular, rich girls a person could ever meet in their entire life. Each of them even had bright eyes to match their pearly whites. However, the eldest Schuyler was most infamous for her use of her pearly whites when wrecking some poor sap in the debate club. 

Angelica was  _ awesome _ . 

They sat down at a round table in the corner of the room with four (five today?) boys. The strange thing about the Schuyler Sisters is that they didn't tend to interact with other people in their tier. They liked to hang with people like Maria Lewis, Hercules Mulligan, or that French Kid with the really long name rather than Jake Dillinger or Ram Sweeney. For literally anyone else, it might make them lose their rep, but so many people admired them that it only seemed to secure their position in the top tier. 

Veronica set down her milk carton. It was empty by now. 

She hated Westerburg. Really. She hated how kindness wasn't enough for most people to just not be jerks to other people. She hated how everyone felt like they needed to impress everyone else to be left alone. She hated how they were right. She hated how you needed to be--

“Veronica?” Martha touched her arm and smiled. “You good?” She's beautiful. Why can't anyone else see that?

* * *

Evan jumped when he felt a hand come down on his shoulder but it was honestly just Jeremy and he should really calm down, it's not like anyone ever bothers  _ him _ at school and, oh shit, he just said something. “I'm sorry, what?”

Jeremy had pulled his hand back when Evan jumped and used it to fidget with the collar of his shirt instead. “I'm, uh, going over to Michael’s today and he's giving me a ride.” He pointed over at his friend, a guy wearing a red sweatshirt who gave him a crooked smile and a wave. 

“Oh, okay yeah that's fine I mean like Mom was just going to take me to my therapist after school anyways and you would've had to wait like an hour for my appointment to be done and that's boring as hell so that's definitely the better option, yep.” Ohgoshwhydoeshetalksomuchshutupshutupshutup

Jeremy grinned weakly. “Cool, okay.” Cue awkward silence. “Well, okay, bye,” he said quickly, and left. 

And then Evan was alone in a hallway full of people, where, after a few moments of just standing there, he will make his way out the door and into his mom’s car so that she can take him to his therapist so that Evan can talk to her about his day and why he hates himself and why he needs antidepressants and then generally feel like a fuck-up for the rest of the day. 

What a  _ great _ day.

* * *

_ Sincerely, Me  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> helpless!!!! look into your eyes and the sky's the limit, i'm--

“...so, there are certain people that you should and shouldn't talk to,” Aaron started searching through his backpack for something. 

“Ooh, he's bringing out the List.” Lafayette emphasized “list” so that there was definitely a capital letter in the word. 

“Shut up,” he mumbled, still rummaging through his backpack. “Ah, there we go.” He pulled out a beat-up notebook with metal spirals that had been yanked out from the spine and stuck straight out, a ripped purple cover, and the pages were all bent concave-like, as if an anvil sat on it and someone tried to lift it up without taking off the anvil first. 

Alex stared at it with vague horror. “What did that poor notebook ever do to  _ you _ ?”

“No no, Aaron’s just a mess,” Hercules quickly reassured him. “Most of his stuff is even worse off. I’m surprised that his backpack still looks as nice as it does. He’s only had this notebook since freshman year.”

Aaron shot him a withering glare, but continued flipping through the pages of the notebook. “Here.” He folded the cover back and then pushed it towards Alex. The bullet points were all filled in with different pens and pencils, some graphite lines being sharper and darker than others, some scribbles at the top of the page where ink hadn’t made its way to the tip of the pen just yet. 

“What is this for?”

John scooted closer on his other side, pointing at the first bullet point. “Well, look. See how he wrote ‘jocks are dangerous’ here? And then that arrow that goes...here? ‘Dress nice, don’t answer too many questions in class, don’t flirt with the cheerleaders.’ Hah, rest in piss, Freshman Burr.”

“Shut the fuck up, Laurens, and stop explaining my List. Anyways, that’s just advice for how to deal with...” Aaron flipped the page over, “this.” A triangle filled the page, divided into three different sections with names that’d definitely been written and erased and rewritten so many times that the paper had gotten weathered in certain areas. At the very top, “the Heathers” was written in careful pencil. Just beneath that, “Brooke and Chloe: ‘Hottest Girls in School’”, “Jenna Rolan: Actual Gossip Girl”, and “Jocks”. And then “The Schuyler Sisters (friends!)” were above “Preps”, “Student Council”, and “Us \\(^.^)/”. “Who the fuck added this smiley?” 

Lafayette raised his hand proudly. “That was me! I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t notice before, Aaron.”

“I hate you guys.”

Alex’s eyes roamed to the “neutral zone”, where the only group there were the “Wallflowers”. The final section started underneath that, with the “Goths”, “Geeks”, “Nerds”, “Stoners”, “Whatever”, etc. “This is...pretty detailed.”

“Well, it  _ is _ constantly being edited.”

He nodded slowly, looking back up at “The Schuyler Sisters (friends!)”. “So, who’re the Shooler sisters?”

“ _ Schuyler. _ Three pretty cool girls who  _ usually _ grace us with their presence at lunch,” John said pointedly, glancing around the lunchroom. He shrugged and pulled out his phone. “Angelica’s the oldest, on the student council and the debate team, refuses to settle for anything less than valedictorian, and has the kind of resting bitch face that makes you think that she could kill you if she wanted to.” He opened the “Photos” app on his phone and pulled up a picture of a tall girl wearing a pink scarf. 

“Ooh, she’s hot. She single?”

“No, so put yourself back in your pants and chill out. Anyways,” John swiped the screen and a girl with a blue dress and flowers in her hair showed up. “Eliza is our age and she’s super sweet. I think she volunteers at the orphanage on the weekends? Also a hella good singer. And, she plays piano!”

“Damn, nevermind, what about  _ her _ ?”

He swatted him on the arm. “Shut the fuck up, Alex.” He swiped again and a girl wearing a yellow bow stuck her tongue out at the photographer. “...and Peggy.”

“Oh my God, John, stop introducing me like that!” The aforementioned “Peggy” swept into the seat next to Hercules, heaving a heavy breath before pointing at John menacingly. “I’m sick of it.” She turned to Alex with a glowing grin as “Angelica” sat next to her and shot him a smirk of her own. “ _ I’m _ Peggy Schuyler, and I’m a sophomore and I’m in the school play  _ every year _ and I love the color yellow, hi nice to meet you.”

Angelica leaned forward, cupping her mouth as she said, “She likes to put yellow dye in her food, she has like an entire closet’s worth.”

“Angelica, shut!”

“Eliza” was last to sit, planting herself next to her older sister and smiling shyly at him with pretty pink cheeks. “Hello,” she murmured.

He felt his own cheeks warm. “Hi. Alex.”

“Elizabeth.” She stuck out her hand, which he grabbed and pressed to his lips.

He didn’t miss the small “oh” she uttered. “A pleasure, miss.” 

“T-there’s no need for that, I totally meant to just shake your hand.”

“Oh, I know.” She turned red and giggled into her other hand. 

Alex heard Aaron hissing over the table, “The fuck, how did he  _ do  _ that?” John just patted his hand sympathetically.

“Anyways, we were just explaining to Alex how the social hierarchy...works,” Lafayette waved a fork around. 

Peggy groaned. “The social ‘hierarchy’. It’s so dumb.”

“But it  _ is _ a thing, Peg,” Aaron reasoned. “You can’t just say it’s dumb because you’re at the top.”

She pouted and pressed an offended hand to her chest. “Why you gotta do me like this, Burr?” 

“It’s important,” he insisted.

“ _ Anyways _ , guys…” Angelica looked down at the List. “The Heathers.”

Aaron nodded. “Right. The Heathers are this trio of rich,  _ powerful  _ girls. They pretty much have the entire school under their thumb. They like to use it to their advantage.”

Alex blinked. “...So, they’re like the Plastics…? Or the Careers, in this case, right?” 

“Oh! Yeah!” John threw his head back and laughed. “Never thought of that, holy shit.”

He grinned. Made John laugh. Success. He was going to try and do that everyday. “But, why are they called the ‘Heathers’?”

“I know. It’s weird.” Eliza winced and hurried to explain, “They’re all named ‘Heather’.”

“...okay… So, how does one get onto the student council?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my chapters are so short, wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wanted to like wait on posting until i finished it all but???? fuck it ig lmao

“ _ I don’t get it _ ,” Michael’s voice crackled through his headset.

Jeremy mashed the A button a bit more furiously. “What don’t you get? They’re useless.” The “game over” screen flashed and he threw down his controller. He laughed into the headset, “I honestly,  _ honestly _ , thought that he was gonna get his shit together because they’re here, but. Nothing. He still walks around without any pants like he never has anywhere to go or anything to do and it’s just like, ‘ _ God _ , can you get any more  _ pathetic _ ?’ And Evan is  _ always _ here, Heidi and Evan  _ live _ here, but does he care? No, he doesn’t. And what’s the point of them being here if nothing’s going to change?” He took a breath, and said quietly, “And the worst thing?  _ I can’t even jack off properly anymore _ .”

Michael choked, coughing harshly into his microphone. Jeremy grinned. He was probably drinking Crystal Pepsi. “ _ Oh no, that’s so horrible, I can’t believe it _ ,” he said through chortles.

“I know, right?” 

His coughing slowed to a stop. “ _...Just give him some time, man. It’ll get better _ .”

They started up a new level. “What more time does he need? He already got himself a girlfriend, I don’t understand why…” Jeremy sighed. “Sorry.”

“ _ No, Jeremy, you’re allowed to rant to me about stuff like this. It’s what best friends do. So, don’t apologize. Just thank me. _ ”

He rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ. Thank you, Mr. Mell. You’re my hero.” 

“ _ No, no, don’t thank me yet, young citizen. _ ” He rolled his eyes again. “ _ Hey, hey, I can hear your eyes rolling all the way from here. _ ” Michael laughed, one of the ones that made his shoulders ride up and his cheeks turn red, and Jeremy smiled.

“It’s not that funny, dork. Thank you, though. Seriously.”

  
“ _ It’s not a problem, Jer. Like I said, it’s what best friends do. I’m always gonna be here for you. _ ”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> waving thru a window, ohhhhhh

That was so stupid you were being so stupid why did you do that this is a waste of money  _ you’re _ \--

“Evan?” He looked away from the painting on the wall and blinked several times when Jeremy walked into the hospital room, wringing his hands. “What  _ happened _ ?” He sounded genuinely worried.  _ Great. _

“I, um, had work today? At Mohican State Park, like I dunno if you knew but I’m an apprentice park ranger and so I guess you can kinda say that I’m an expert on trees, or whatever,” he waved around the arm without a cast, “and I was trying to climb this white oak tree and I, I fell.” He scratched behind his ear.

Jeremy’s eyes were wide. “Are...are you  _ okay _ ?”

“Yeah, no, I’m  _ fine _ , it was actually kinda funny because I just kept thinking about how any minute someone would come get me and so I just lay there for ten minutes but like. Nobody did.” Evan, that wasn’t funny, he’s not laughing, he just thinks you’re lame now but he already thought that before so does it really matter?

“...that’s actually kinda sad, dude.”

“Aaaanyways, I pretty much completely shattered my arm so that’s  _ great _ ‘I mean at least you didn’t break your ribs or something, Evan’ I know I know I’m super lucky that I didn’t break my  _ spine _ or something.” He took a breath, and then huffed it out. He’s laughing, see? Evan was pretty sure that he hadn’t broken his ribs. The doctors would’ve wrapped his chest, wouldn’t they?

“Yeah, super lucky.” Jeremy chuckled awkwardly. “Hey, so, our parents are on their way here. Dad was waiting for Heidi to get off of work, so.”

“Oh yeah sure that’s fine don’t feel obligated to like stay or anything I’m sure you have better things to do than to keep me company--”

“Oh, I just thought you should know about them.” He shrugged off his backpack. “I brought some homework to do, and I told myself I wouldn’t leave until I got it done,” he sighed. “I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> freeze your braiiiiiiin
> 
> i dont remember all the lyrics anymoooooooreeee!!!

Cherry Slurpees were the best.

Michael put down some money on the counter of the Seven-Eleven, happily sucking on the red straw he’d stuck through the lid. Just as he was about to pass through the doors, a voice went, 

“You’re drinking  _ Cherry? _ ”

with such disgust that he paused, ready to turn around and give this asshole a piece of his mind. But this wasn’t just  _ any _ asshole. This was the asshole who had single-handedly fought  _ Kurt Kelly _ and  _ Ram Sweeney _ earlier that day in the cafeteria. Fuckfuckfuck so much for giving this guy a piece of his mind.

“What? You’re not even gonna argue back?” 

Michael side-eyed the guy. He was a senior, and more muscle-y than him, but maybe if he didn’t get too pissed off then maybe Michael will go home in one piece tonight. “No, no, I was just looking for the best way to tell you that Cola Slurpees are inherently inferior to Cherry Slurpees.” Shit, his voice was shaky. 

“ _ Wow _ . Is that so?”

“Yep. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” An arm shot out across his vision, blocking his way out. 

“Do you have to leave right now?” The guy tilted his head to the side slightly, and Michael’s too damn gay for this. Not fair not fair not fair. They moved back to the unmanned counter. 

“Fine. What do you want?” 

He smiled thinly. “What do you know about Connor Murphy?” He asked, and Michael blinked in confusion. Honestly, of all the things…

“He’s this guy in the senior class. His younger sister is in my Music Theory class, she’s really sweet. I don’t know much about Connor himself, but I know that he doesn’t have a lot of friends.” He thought hard for a moment. “A lot of kids like to tease him about being a druggie,” he tried not to think about being a stoner himself, “and a lot of people think that he’s the kind of crazy that would shoot up a school,” he finished. 

They were both silent for a moment.

“Couldn’t you have asked literally anyone else, though?” Michael asked.

The guy looked down at him. “I could’ve. But I recognized you from the cafeteria.”

He raised an eyebrow, crossed his arms. “Yeah? How’s that?”

“Because you looked cute,” is all he heard before he booked it out of the Seven-Eleven, face red, and that guy was  _ definitely _ shitting him. 

He passed by Veronica Sawyer on his way out and made sure to keep his head down and out of her personal bubble. Michael glanced back once, saw them together and Asshole pouring Veronica a Slurpee with a large grin on his face and her laughing, and got into his car as quickly as he could. 

They... _ couldn’t _ be talking about him, right? 

They wouldn’t. He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

Except Asshole was probably telling Veronica Sawyer all about that weird gay kid who just ran past her and, because Veronica was pretty much a Heather, the whole school was going to know by tomorrow morning. 

  
He felt like screaming. The bullies will be  _ relentless _ .


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay no cap zoe and christine being BEST FRIENDS is the cutest thing ever i LOVE them

Christine is good at smiling, even when she doesn’t feel like doing it very much. She’s an actress, she has to be good at it. 

And she likes smiling. She likes to think that to be able to smile means that everything will turn out alright, no matter what. 

But Zoe barely smiled anymore. Lately, she’d gotten stuck in her own head so often, it was almost like she never left it. Christine didn’t blame her, though. Her brother just died.

Christine had never known anyone who died.

* * *

“I’m so tired,” Zoe said, one day during lunch. She held her palm to her forehead, Christine wondered idly if she had a headache. Probably from lack of sleep, if the dark circles under her eyes meant anything. “I just,” she laughed slightly, “I want people to stop reminding me of Connor. I want everyone to stop looking at me like I’ll break down any second. I want people to stop telling me that they’re  _ sorry _ that my brother died.” Zoe looked at her with teary eyes and a small smile that didn’t look like it belonged to Zoe Murphy at all and muttered, “I want to not feel like a bad person for not missing him.”

Christine blinked. Zoe didn't like talking about her feelings very much, so this was very new. She floundered for a moment, wondering what she could do to make her best friend feel better. Well, what were some things that made her happy?

She gasped, hands clapping as she got the Greatest Idea Ever. “ _ Ohmigosh ohmigosh, Zoe, follow me! I know the perfect way to cheer you up! _ ” She grabbed her hands and pulled her up from the table. She led them through the mass of students wearing black, and wow there were an awful lot of people wearing black. It was really depressing. Oh, right, the Thing!

She searched the wall for what she was looking for before stopping in front of the poster and taking out one of her pens with a flourish, presenting it to her best friend proudly. “Ta-da!! Would you like the honor of writing your name on the sign-up sheet for the after school play?”

Zoe eyed the pen, then the poster. “You...want me to sign up for the play...?” Off Christine’s nod, “But I  _ always _ sign up for the school play, Chris.  _ Every year _ .”

“But play rehearsal  _ always _ cheers you up!”

“No,” she giggled, “it always cheers  _ you _ up.”

“Oh. Right.” Zoe burst out laughing, holding her stomach as she bent over, and Christine laughed with her. Comedic timing on point, pat yourself on the back, Canigula!

And then Zoe sniffed and pulled her into a hug, crying into her cardigan and Christine waffled over what she should do before just holding her tight. 

“Thanks, you’re the best,” Zoe mumbled into her shoulder before stepping back and wiping her eyes.

“It’s nothing! No better way to not think than to read lines, right?” Zoe nodded, smiling slightly and Christine mentally patted herself on the back again. “Come on, let’s go back to our table, lest some  _ freshmen _ go and steal it.”

They stuck their tongues out at each other and then laughed again. Things were gonna be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is it. the dumbest chapter.

“Ah, Jeremy, there you are.”

“Hey, Dad.” Jeremy shifted his backpack higher onto his shoulder and made for the stairs. 

“Wait, Jer, come here for a sec,” his dad’s voice came out of the kitchen. He was sitting across from Evan at their kitchen table and Jeremy didn't know exactly what he was expecting when he walked in, but at least Evan also didn’t seem to have a clue on what was going on. They shared a look of confusion before Jeremy took a seat next to him. Jeremy’s dad had a strangely serious look on his face

but a quick glance under the table confirmed that he still wasn't wearing any pants. Jeremy rolled his eyes. 

“Boys, I got an email this morning talking about a boy who killed himself a few days ago.” 

He blinked. That was...pretty important. His dad was going to talk to them about something that was actually pretty important. Huh. 

He gave Evan a questioning look, but he seemed more interested in his arm, eyes downcast, picking slightly at his cast. “CONNOR” was written on it in big black letters. Huh. Again. Jeremy was honestly surprised that Evan had any friends, and then immediately felt bad about it. He turned back towards his dad. 

“So, I, uh…” His dad looked down at his phone, fiddling with it before looking back up. “I wanted you two to listen to this.” He set his phone down on the table, opened to some video on YouTube, as the first few notes began to play. It sounded like the kind of music his dad would've been into at their age. Jeremy glanced at the title:  _ Teenage Suicide (Don't Do It) _ . 

“I think it'd be a good song for you boys to listen to. Have fun.” His dad clapped them both on the shoulder before waltzing out of the kitchen, whistling some obscure tune. 

“ _ Teenage suiciiiiiiide. (Don't do it!!) _ ” came out of the speakers. 

Jeremy’s mouth hadn't quite closed yet when Evan said, in a very quiet voice, “Oh my God. This is a legit song.”

“ _ Teenage suicide. She blew it! _ ”

Jeremy responded in the same quiet voice, “Oh, God, what the fuck.”

“ _ Teenage suicide. (Oh, screw it.) _ ”

They sat in shocked silence once the song ended. There was a lot to process. Was the song telling them not to kill themselves? Was it telling them that parents shouldn't blame kids for wanting to kill themselves? Was it telling them that the world was a dark and lonely place, always has been and always will be? Why were there random German phrases in the middle of the song? There were so many questions, and no answers to be found.

It was then that Jeremy made a decision. “I won't speak of this if you won’t.”

Evan, still pale-faced, nodded quickly without blinking. “Agreed. Never again.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homecoming!!

“Betsey!”

Eliza turned her head. “Oh, Alex!” He looked haggard, the bags under his eyes even more pronounced than usual. He really should sleep more. The grin he sent her way was just as bright and infectious as ever, however, and she couldn’t help her own smile. 

“You don’t have anywhere to be at the moment, do you?” She shook her head. “Good. Can you read this?” He put a small booklet in her hands, titled  **_Reasons Why You Should Date Me_ ** . 

There were so many question marks flitting through her brain when she looked back at him. Her cheeks were warm. “Alex…?”

“No, no! You have to read all of it! I spent all night on it!” He insisted with his eyebrows furrowed.

She giggled, feeling light and airy. “You wrote all of this in one night? For me?” She skimmed through the paragraphs (attractive physical traits, attractive internal traits, reliable quote unquote  _ experiences _ with relationships, how he’s going to be totally impressive and powerful after they graduate, how amazing he finds  _ her _ , how their personality types fit perfectly together, etc.), ignoring his protests, and stopped at the last sentence: “tldr; will you prom to go with me?” She giggled again. “Yes, I will prom to go with you.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “What?” He scanned the last sentence before groaning and bringing his hand to his face. He had turned completely red.

“If it helps, I’ll also homecoming to go with you, Alex.”

He groaned louder as she hugged him and stifled her giggles in his shoulder.

* * *

“So… Would you wanna go to homecoming with me, or…?”

They had jazz band together, in Aaron’s defense. So, he was definitely an acquaintance of Zoe’s. It wasn’t like he was trying to pick up a random girl. Even though, now that he’d thought a bit harder about it…

It was a bit like that. He’d been rejected several times already, by different girls, and  _ damn _ , if that didn’t just shit on his confidence. He was honestly just a bit desperate, at this point.

She was uncomfortable, definitely, if the way she leaned slightly away from him meant anything. “Aaron, I…” He nodded quickly because it was totally fine if she didn’t want to go with him, he’d accept that, it was completely understandable. “I...o...k--”

“ _ Nope _ , sorry!” Christine popped up by her side, grabbing her arm tightly. “Zoe’s going to homecoming with me, so, apologies, my friend, but she is  _ completely unavailable _ that night! Right?” She looked up at her friend with a beam.

“R-right. Sorry, Aaron.”

“No, it’s--” ...and they were gone. “Fine.” That was  _ swell _ .

* * *

“Hey, Jer.”

“Michael!” Michael swung an arm around his shoulders in greeting. “Did you see the posters going up? The ones about homecoming?”

“Nope. Should I care?”

“No, no, I just...it’s  _ whatever _ , y’know?” Michael was squinting at him, that didn’t make any sense, did it? Jeremy felt his face turn red. “I’m just. Do you think we should go?”

“...are you asking me out?”

“No!  _ No. _ That’s not--” Jeremy turned away, smacking his forehead. “I mean--”

“ _ Oh _ , right. Christine’ll be there, huh?” Christine? His eyes focused on the girl on the opposite side of the cafeteria where she was cheerfully talking at Maria Lewis.  _ Oh shit _ , she would! “You should go. Ask her!”

“What, no, I can’t just  _ ask _ her, are you  _ crazy _ ?” Michael sighed at him. “I’m serious, man, I can’t do that! It’s gotta be. Taboo, or something.”

“Well, go anyways! Use the opportunity to talk to her! I think she’s just going with Zoe, not a date that’ll take all her attention or anything. C’mon, Jeremy, you got this!” He clapped him on the shoulder and Jeremy took the opportunity to hunch over the lunch table.

“I can’t go  _ alone _ , either!” He groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes. “Michael, you  _ have _ to come with me! Please?” Jeremy gave him the Puppy-Dog Eyes and watched as he melted, head falling slightly, shoulders slumping, soft exhaling through his nose. Jeremy grinned. His Puppy-Dog Eyes always worked on Michael.

“Fine,” he said, sounding resigned. “I’ll go to the homecoming dance with you. When do you want me to pick you up?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> homecoming pt 2
> 
> ...and its kinda gay

Alexander had successfully asked Eliza Sky to homecoming, but he was sticking around the guys and his supposed date was nowhere in sight. He was taking the chance to tell John  _ all about _ how wonderful a date he was because he had gotten her “roses, and chocolates,  _ and  _ a teddy bear, aren’t I the greatest boyfriend ever, or what?”

To which John replied: “Or what,” with a grin before adding, “Kudos for being such a  _ wonderful _ date, though.”

“Ah.” And then Alexander said, “So, if I earn enough ‘kudos’, do I get a kiss, or…?” Complete with the leaning forward and the flirtatious smirk, the whole shebang, he turned into your regular casanova. 

So, Aaron gritted his teeth when John sputtered and turned red, because Alexander was such a  _ dirtbag  _ and how was he getting all these people to fall for him what the actual  _ fuck _ ? Meanwhile, Aaron was dateless and sipping on spiked punch forlornly.

Tonight, he was being pitied by Herc, who grabbed him a cookie. “I… Thanks, but I don’t really feel like eating anything right now.”

Herc pushed it closer to him. “Don’t eat it, then.  _ Dance _ with it.” Aaron gave him a deadpan stare. “Treat. Your. Self,” he insisted.

“Herc, are you drunk? No, wait,” he amended as his friend blinked at him slowly. “Maybe I should’ve asked, ‘How drunk are you,’ instead?” He did accept the cookie, though, taking slow bites of it.

Zoe walked into the room with one Chris Canigula, and Aaron shared painful, wide-eyed eye contact with her for a moment before they both turned away. He took another sip of the punch when Eliza arrived and kissed Alexander on the cheek, silently cursing him and his ability to charm...literally anybody.

Fuckin’ Hamilton.

* * *

Jeremy had immediately glued one foot to the wall and the other to the ground in a  _ very _ casual, “I’m trying too hard to look cool” posture as soon as they got to the dance. Michael had to shake his head. He grabbed him by the wrists and dragged him to the dance floor. 

“Wha--? Michael!”

“Come on, man! Chill out!”

He put a hand behind his head and stuck his other hand out, jerking it to the side. 

“Michael. Michael, what are you doing?”

“It's a dance thing! ‘The Sprinkler!’” Jeremy laughed, mimicking his movements. 

They both began to circle each other, swinging their arms goofily to the music before Jeremy suddenly stopped, and Michael’s ashamed to say that he ran into him. He wiggled his eyebrows at him before taking hold of his left foot and bringing his knee to his right elbow in a strangely Jeremy-like jerk that made Michael snicker. He countered by sweeping his hands over his hair alternately, in some piss poor imitation of the dougie that had Jeremy covering his eyes and fake-groaning. And that was when Michael had the _ worst _ idea, and a glance to the side confirmed that his friend had thought of the same thing. They grinned at each other and  _ whipped _ in unison. 

“It’s a good thing neither of you can dance, or else this would be embarrassing,” a guy called out from the sidelines, cackling, and they both froze and there was nothing worse than the fact that they actually  _ did _ get embarrassed by some random douche’s dumb comment. 

Michael watched Jeremy curl his shoulders inward and cursed under his breath. He could call that jerk every name in the book and it wouldn’t be able to convey the exact amount of “fuck you” that he wanted to throw back. God,  _ shit. _ What an asshole. “Whatever,” he muttered to Jeremy. “Forget about him, he’s not important.”

Jeremy stayed silent as they wove their way across the room. They found themselves sitting at some tables near the refreshments. Silence ensued and he was staring at Christine flailing her arms around to the music like she was having the time of her life and Michael couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking beyond that it was most likely a combination of Christine and reasons why he was a loser which,  _ okay _ , was kind of totally true, but they’ve long established that and there’s absolutely  _ nothing _ wrong with not being popular as long as you still have people who still care for you, right? And that that absolutely  _ did not mean _ that no one would ever love him, didn’t he know that? 

Was Jeremy staring at him? Crap, did he say that out loud? Was Jeremy smiling at him? Less crap, then, more like yay. “I mean,” Michael ducked his head, picking at an unidentifiable smudge on the ground with his foot, “people who think you’re lame are just haters. They seriously won’t matter in a couple of years, promise.” He glanced back up at him and said, with all seriousness, “Fuckin’ normies don’t have any idea what they’re missing, swear.” 

Jeremy huffed out a laugh, giving him a soft look. “You’re the best, Mike.”

“Of fucking course I am.”

* * *

Heather had curled her blonde hair into ringlets that swished whenever she turned her head, like as she searched the dance floor for Veronica.  _ Swish, swish _ . Ah! And there she was, dancing with that J.D. guy.

She saw Heather sneer with pretty red lips. “Jesse James? Really? I thought she’d’ve gotten over  _ him _ by now.”

But wait. His name wasn’t Jesse James, was it? “Um, Heather? I think his name is Jason Dean, actually.”

“No, Heather,” Heather spoke up, examining her nails. They were painted a metallic green with silver accents. They were so very, and reminded Heather of Slytherins, which made them  _ double  _ very! She looked up from her nails to fix her with a slight glare. “Heather’s saying that he looks like the kind of crazy asshole who carries around guns, not that his  _ name _ is Jesse James.” Oh, well,  _ that  _ hadn’t been very obvious. She wasn't gonna say that out loud, though. Heather kinda scared her sometimes. 

“Heyyyy,” a voice drawled, “Heather, Heather.” Kurt wormed his arm around her waist in greeting. “Heather.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Heather crossed her arms across her chest. “Kurt. Ram, finally,” she grabbed Ram’s arm and pulled him onto the dance floor. People immediately began to form a circle around them, not because they were good dancers or anything, they were really only grinding on each other, but. They looked  _ hot _ . 

Kurt grabbed her hand and followed them, leaving Heather to a junior named Jake. Everyone was watching them. That was the nice thing about being a Heather. You were pretty, and so you only hung out with pretty people. So, the world was just so pretty! 

Her eyes swept across the room, and she saw Veronica smiling at J.D. as he offered her a cup of the punch. She looked like a mess, all sweaty and her hair everywhere, but her dress still suited her like it did when they all went shopping, and she was hunched over from laughing so hard, and Heather couldn’t really place  _ why _ , but she thought she was beautiful.

  
“What’re you lookin’ at, babe?” Heather turned her head back to look at Kurt and her blonde hair swished when she shook in her head.  _ Swish, swish _ .


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> be more chill pt 2 but its alex being a dick

“You are  _ so _ not cool, Hamilton.” 

“Lies and  _ fucking  _ slander, Schuyler!” Peggy rolled her eyes. How dare. Alex went on, “Look. I-I bet,” he pointed out a gangly-looking guy who had hunched his shoulders and looked around anxiously, “I could make him cooler.” 

She snickered. “ _ Yeah _ .”

“No, really! Bet you a twenty that I can.”

“Fine, fine, bet you twenty that you can’t.” They simultaneously spat into their hands and shook on it, nodding at each other. 

He made his way over to his target, who looked like he was trying to fade into the wall which, considering how pale he was, didn’t seem like it’d be too hard to do. Alex swung his arm around him, smirk falling when the guy turned his head so quickly his neck probably cracked. “Hi. Are you okay?”

He turned red, pushing him away and beginning to stammer, “U-uh yeah, hi. I-I’m sorry, what do you want?” 

This would be harder than he’d originally thought. “Your name would be awesome.” Alex’s smile returned brightly. “Please?”

He sputtered. “J-Jeremy? Heere?”

Alex swung him around so that they faced away from the wall. “Well, Jeremy Heere, I'm going to teach you How To Be Cool!” 

“ _ What _ ? What,  _ why _ ? Who _ are _ you?” He walked them to where the empty seats in front of the stage were waiting for them, sitting down and pulling Jeremy down with him. 

“Alexander Hamilton. And I'm just doing you a service, my good sir.” Alex leaned away from him and examined him with narrowed eyes. Despite being taller than him, Jeremy still had this knobbly-kneed, awkward look about him, like he hadn't quite gotten used to his long limbs yet. Er, long _ er _ limbs. But that didn't mean that he was particularly  _ bad-looking _ , per se. His face had nice structure, and his eyes were a nice shade of blue, almost teal. And he had a five o’clock shadow, which might be attractive if it didn't also make him look like a slob. But that might just be Alex’s bitter side showing. He rubbed his very hairless chin, contemplating the boy in front of him. 

“Um. Why?”

He snapped his fingers, “Fix your posture. Like,” he mimed sitting up straighter and broadening his shoulders, “so that you look more confident.”

Jeremy imitated him hesitantly, before clenching his fists and muttering, “Confident!” under his breath. 

Alex ran a hand through his hair with a smirk. “ _ Cool _ .”

Again, Jeremy copied him. “C-cool.”

He made finger guns, waving them in Jeremy’s direction. “ _ Popular. _ ”

He looked skeptically at Alex’s finger guns. “...popular,” he deadpanned. He crossed his arms. “Really.”

“Trust me!” Jeremy didn't look convinced. “Excuse you,  _ I _ have a girlfriend, and you don't.” Alex considered his argument for a moment. “And you don't have a boyfriend, either. Actually, you don't seem to have  _ any  _ dating experience, do you?” 

A beat of silence. 

Jeremy’s eyes bugged out of his head. “I. Uh.  _ Whuh _ ?”

“What? Do you not know what dating is?” He was being sarcastic, but still, a feeling of  _ please tell him that this boy knew what dating was  _ was sticking around and Alex didn’t like it.

He looked a bit like a fish, opening and closing his mouth. “Wha?  _ Huh? Boyfriend? _ ”

“Well, yeah. Michael, right?” Alex waved his hand dismissively. It wasn't that important. “He's in my Music Theory class. And you guys are  _ pretty _ obvious.”

“No! Nonononononono!” He took a hold of Alex’s shoulders and shook him back and forth like a rag doll. “I'm!  _ Straight _ !” 

Alex grabbed onto the back of Jeremy’s seat, staring intently at his eyes, and said, “That's what John André said, too.”

* * *

He couldn't handle the revelation, Alex told Peggy after play rehearsal. She had seen Jeremy stand abruptly from his seat and walk away as Alex called after him like,

_ “Wait no, come back! Embrace your sexuality!” And then when Jeremy flipped him off, “Well, at least shave! All that hair on your chin isn't making you any more mature looking, you just look like a slob!”  _

_ And then Jeremy flipped him off again while Peggy was busy laughing her guts out at what a disaster that had become. _

But who was she kidding? That was a mess before it even started. 

She stepped in front of Alex and held out an expectant hand. He winced. “Okay but, didn't I make him at least  _ slightly _ cooler? Like. I stood next to him? I  _ sat _ next to him? I talked to him? Doesn't that make him at least five-percent cooler?”

Peggy glanced over at the guy, who was awestruck by Christine as she chattered to him, probably about drama and all the different things that made it so amazing. “No, I don't think so.” 

Alex groaned and pulled out his wallet. He handed her two tens. “Fine. Swindle the poor bastard orphan outta his money, I see how it is.”

“It's not swindling if you lost  _ fairly _ , Alex.” She received them with a flourish. “Thank you very much.” 

“This is what capitalism looks like.” She rolled her eyes at his antics. He made an exaggerated movement. “ _ Down _ with the bourgeoisie!!” 

“Shut up, Alex.” His phone pinged with a text, and Peggy watched as his face lit up at whatever he was seeing on the screen. She blinked. “‘Sat Eliza?”

“Um…” He glanced up at her briefly before continuing to type out a reply. “...yeah. Anyways, I gotta go, Peggy, sorry.”

“‘Kay.” He hurried past her, eyes still locked onto his phone and trying to bite down a smile. What dorks. 

She made her way over to Jeremy, waving to Christine as she gathered her stuff and walked out the door as well. He had turned red, red _ der _ actually, if that were possible, once he noticed her. 

Peggy pressed the two tens into his hand, wincing apologetically when he raised an eyebrow. “I'm sorry about Alex. Earlier. It was dumb. He's dumb.” She readjusted her backpack on her shoulder. “But, thanks for humoring him...? ...did someone write ‘BOYF’ on your backpack?”

Jeremy’s face fell flat. “I...yeah. Yeah. They did.”

Hmm. She shrugged her shoulders. “Cool. See you tomorrow, then.”

She was almost halfway out the door when he finally called back, “Y-yeah! See you!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fiiiiiiight for me (10 duel commandments)

Most of what Alex remembered from the fight was whooping whenever John landed a hit on the other guy and telling the student next to him, “Honestly, I didn't think he'd last this long. But  _ damn _ , can John fight!” (They'd been evenly matched because Dick Goranski was short as hell but he was muscled  _ as fuck _ while John was the type of person whose only daily physical activities amounted to the fights he got into at school and walking, but he was also the most hard-headed person Alex had ever met, and that included himself.) He’d been so enthralled that he didn't even notice when the rest of the students had scattered and been replaced by teachers. 

He crossed his arms, slumping down in the chair as his dad stared back at him. Washington didn't even look mad, per se, more disappointed than anything. Alex slid further down the seat. 

“Son.”

He stayed silent. 

“Alexander.” Washington sighed, running both hands down his face for a moment. “Please.”

Alex threw his hands in the air. “I didn't even throw a punch this time! I don't understand why I'm here!”

“You're here because you were yelling for Mr. Laurens to, ah, beat Mr. Goranski into the ground.”

Shit, he had a point. “Yeah, well, it's not as if his homophobic ass didn't deserve it.” Alex crossed his arms again, glaring down at the tiny plastic desk connected to his chair. It was seriously almost offensive how tiny it was, like it was mocking him. 

His dad pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alex, you're a smart kid--”

“I didn't fight him!”

“Young man, you both instigated and encouraged the fight. The principal has already suspended you from school. Again.” 

Alex considered it for a moment. “For how long?”

“A couple of days. Any longer and it would've extended into winter break, which would make no sense.” So, basically, he got off of school early. Alex grinned, but stopped when Washington looked back up at him flatly. “Son, you've gotta stop doing this. We both know that you're insanely intelligent, but all these suspensions won't look good to colleges. I thought you wanted to go to Columbia University?”

He winced. Washington was right again, but it wasn't like he could just stand down while he saw all of these kids being bullied by dicks who wouldn't just fuck off. Alex’s morals were the kind that wouldn't let him look the other way or anything. He wasn't  _ Aaron Burr _ .

His dad watched him, then leaned forward and began talking very quietly, “So, if you're going to fight someone, Alex, use your words to beat them into the ground, instead of encouraging someone to beat them into the ground.” His head snapped up. “Well, aren't you on the debate team?” Washington didn't quite grin, it was more that the corner of his lips shifted higher than the rest of his mouth. “Talk them to tears, son.”

Alex nodded, possibly a bit too eagerly if Washington’s fond exhalation through his nose meant anything. At his dad’s dismissal, he grabbed his backpack from the ground and went to the door, resisting the urge to do a cartwheel in the halls out of pure glee. 

“You're still grounded when you get home, young man.”

Oh. Well, it wasn't as if he would've actually been able to do a cartwheel, anyways. He found John waiting for him at the end of the hallway and felt a light sort of warmth as he linked their hands together. ( _ Listen.  _ It just felt natural, okay? This was natural.)

“Were you suspended?” John asked as they walked out of the school. 

“Yep. Got grounded, too.”

“Rest in fucking pieces, Hamilton.”

“Shut up,” Alex pushed him with his shoulder. “What about you?”

He puffed out his cheeks and blew, lifting some stray, curly strands that had fallen out of his beanie out of his eyes until they fell again. “Yeah.” He brushed them behind his ear. “And Mr. Reyes is making me help make props for the school play.”

Alex grinned. “Oh, well, I guess if you  _ have _ to, then you  _ have _ to.”

  
John groaned, “I  _ know _ . I guess I have no choice but to see you  _ after _ school as well as  _ in _ school.” They both snickered and got into his car.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> christine D':

“Zo, how about this one?” Christine waved around a flowy, white blouse with lace around the neckline. “Do you think Jake would like it?”

Zoe tried to imagine her friend wearing the blouse, and she looked cute, Christine was always cute, but… “I dunno, Chris. It's...not really your style, right?” This entire  _ store _ didn't look like Christine’s style, but Zoe wasn't gonna say that aloud. 

She rubbed the fabric between her fingers, biting her lip before agreeing, “It's not. But I just. I want him to like me, you know?” She put the blouse back on the clothes rack. 

“He already likes you.”

“Right, but,” Christine ran a hand through her hair, “I’m, I’m not like  _ Chloe _ , and she's the last person he dated!”

“...and…?” This wasn't like her. Nothing of this entire situation was like Christine at all. Christine never tried to dress to impress, she dressed to emphasize a point, or, hell, because she felt like it. She wasn't ever afraid of being whoever she wanted to be. 

Christine fiddled with the cuffs of her denim jacket, running her fingers across the various Shakespearean phrases written on them. “...I like him.”

“Oh...kay, but you've liked other guys before?” Zoe crossed her arms. “That's not answering the question.”

“It's different with him! I...he pays attention to me. Nobody has ever looked at me and thought, ‘Oh hey, she seems like someone special!’ I'm not…” Christine held her arm, like some sort of poster-child for insecurity. Maybe that's why her eyes didn’t look as bright as usual. “I just fade into the background.”

* * *

_ Zoe remembers opening night of their first high school play when Christine had hugged her and muttered, “My parents didn't come to this one, either.” _

* * *

“And Jake  _ sees _ me. He listens and he pays attention and he  _ responds _ and he thinks that I'm  _ worth _ something. Zo, he quit the archery club so that he could be at rehearsals with  _ me _ .” Christine looked back up at her, eyebrows furrowed like she was trying to send Zoe a message with telepathy. 

“I…” And Zoe thought, for a moment, that she completely understood. To want someone’s affection, no,  _ attention _ , wholly on herself, for as long as they would. “...Okay.” They both turned back to the clothing racks, letting their thoughts fill the air. She finally spoke, “Just. Don't, like, stop being you. Don't let ‘wanting to impress Jake’ turn into ‘Jake being the only important thing in your life’.” She bumped shoulders with her best friend, smiling down at her slightly. “Your life shouldn't start and end with some guy. You're not Juliet, or anything.” 

They both giggled. “Not anymore, I know. I'm Puck, now, duh.” Christine’s smile faded, turning into something warmer. “I know. Thanks, Zoe.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squip enters

“Thanks for going shopping with me, Vee.” Their heels made  _ click-clack _ sounds as they made their way to the food court. 

“It's nothing, really. It's just weird that Heather and Heather didn't come too.” Veronica tried to brush her black hair back with a huff, but both of her arms were full with shopping bags that ended up hitting her as she moved her arms around. “Hey, Heather?” She asked, still trying to swipe her hair away. 

“Hmm?”

“Aren't these bags yours?” Heather thought for a second and,  _ oh _ , Veronica hadn't boughten anything at all today. So, by process of elimination, those  _ were _ hers! Heather nodded happily. “...shouldn't you carry at least  _ some _ of them, then?”

Heather thought again, this time about whether or not she should. “Mm, no. See,  _ I'm _ the pretty one, so that makes you manual labor.” She turned on her heel and made her way to a table, feeling bouncy and light. What a great day it was!

“... _ Right _ .” Veronica sat down next to her with a heavy sigh, dropping all of Heather’s bags next to her before leaning back and letting her head hung over the back of her chair. Heather set her head in her hands, ready to people-watch and talk gossip to Veronica while she caught her breath when a guy cried out and began clutching his head. Veronica made to get up and go to him. 

“Wait!” 

Veronica glanced down at her quickly before looking back at him. The guy screamed, and he had fallen to the floor. “What? He's probably having a seizure, or something. I should go help!”

“No! What if it's contagious?!” 

She looked at her as if she'd said something dumb. “Seriously, Heather?” Veronica hurried over to him with Heather following just behind, because even if  _ Veronica _ said that he wasn't contagious, what if he  _ was _ ? When she finally got through the crowd, Veronica knelt down next to him and tried to get him to lie down on his side. 

He jerked up. “Wuh, waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait,” he said, holding his hands out and grinning a wobbly grin at her. “I'm fine, I just--” He collapsed again, screaming louder and  _ shit _ , was he crying? People had their phones out, recording him, which can't be good. Heather tugged her friend away and Veronica, looking lost and kinda terrified, let her. 

They watched him quiet down before snapping his head up, staring at Veronica, wait, her ear? -- no, _the_ _air_ , Heather realized -- with wide eyes and an open mouth. “You look like Keanu Reeves,” he breathed and Heather decided that she had had enough. 

“Ohhhhhhhkay, c’mon, Veronica,” she said very quietly so that he wouldn't hear and maybe freak out and dragged her friend away as subtly as possible. They sat back down at their table, Heather winded and Veronica still pale-faced. “The  _ fuck _ was that?”

“I...I have no idea.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and i oop-
> 
> this is one of those unfinished chapters, btw!! sorry--
> 
> break a leg! its halloween! (wait a sec, isn't it new years'??)

Angelica  _ revelled _ in parties. Loud, noisy atmospheres with alcohol and pot and sex in the air. She just wished Peggy agreed. 

Peggy tugged on her arm. “Angie, Angelica, there are people doing _drugs_ here,” she said, wide eyes glancing around the room nervously. “Daddy’s gonna be so mad if he finds out we’re here.”

“What Daddy doesn’t know won’t kill him, Margy,” Angelica hummed in response, surveying the other students. With how drunk everyone already was -- and it seemed that the Dillingers had an insurmountable supply of alcohol -- it felt impossible that  _ anyone _ was going to remember the events of the night.  _ Excellent _ .

“I  _ hate  _ it when you call me Margy, you know that already!” Peggy groaned. She worried at her bottom lip. “And where’s Eliza? Didn’t she say that she was coming with Alex? Does she know what time she’s supposed to be home? Did you text her the time? Or should  _ I _ remind her? Remember that Daddy said that we have to come home in time for the ball drop. So--”

“Peggy, be more chill, ‘kay?” She poked her younger sister on the nose. “Boop.” She grabbed two cups and filled hers with alcohol and Peggy’s with Coke. 

She thanked her with a nod and pursed lips, but protested, “I  _ am  _ chill! I am  _ all _ the chill. I just. Don’t think parties are all that cool. That’s all.”

Dustin Kropp walked over to them, clearly wasted out of his mind. “Heyyyyy, girlssss, happy New Year’s Eve!” He tried to swing his arm around Peggy, who yelped and ducked behind Angelica, before falling flat on his face on the floor. 

Angelica snickered slightly, taking another gulp of her drink as she walked around him, her sister following close behind. “Angie, you’re my ride home, remember?” 

“Yep. Don’t worry about it too much, just need to party a bit, then find Lizzie. Relax.”

“I  _ am  _ relaxed!”

Now, Angelica wouldn't say that she was watching her sister very closely, but she was able to spot how Peggy’s pursed lips morphed into a smirk, dark eyes suddenly sparkling with what could only be described as mischief. She followed her gaze, and found herself watching Aaron Burr sip sullenly at a red Solo cup as Hercules downed shot after shot after shot with Lafayette egging him on in the background. Peggy made her way over to Lafayette’s side with purpose in her stride and Angelica continued searching; where those three were, Alex and Eliza would surely be nearby. 

Indeed, there they were, Alex with his arm thrown over Eliza’s shoulders and sipping his own drink while she had an animated conversation with Maria. “…And people have been selling like these buttons and stuff with Connor’s face on it to ‘remember’ him, but every time I see them all I can think about how they're all  _ profiting  _ from his death and I just think… Oh, Angelica!” She waved as Angelica approached, overly enthusiastic, teary-eyed, and pink-cheeked. Definitely tipsy, if not completely drunk, then. Angelica sighed. They'd probably have to leave soon. That's fine. It was almost midnight, anyways. She took another sip from her drink -- y’know, for the road -- before discarding it.

“‘Sup, ‘Gelica,” Alex slurred, and Angelica realized that Eliza was his main source of balance. She wanted to throttle him a little bit, but instead took a deep breath through her nose, missing her drink already.

“Hi, Alex,” she deadpanned. She grabbed the junior, pushing him onto Burr, who yelped as they both hit the floor. “Bye, Alex. Eliza,” she turned back to her sister. “We should probably go home. Do you need a ride, Maria?”

Her friend nodded gratefully, both of them ignoring Eliza’s complaints on the fact that she wouldn't be sharing a romantic kiss with her oh, so beloved boyfriend at midnight. “Thanks. I came here with Rich, but I sorta lost him around the time the music started playing.”

Peggy suddenly appeared by her side, making Maria jump. “When'd the music start?”

“I dunno. Around the time we got here, I guess.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Angelica waved at the rest of their friends, receiving a responding wave from Lafayette and a groan from Burr, who was still on the ground like he had given up on ever getting up. It seemed that Alex had lost consciousness while on top of him and, apparently, the dead weight of Alex’s scrawny 5’9” self was enough to keep him down for a count. Angelica shrugged. Their responsibility, now. She turned back to the girls. “C’mon now, let's get going.”

They all nodded, following her like little ducklings through the crowd of people making a mess of Dillinger’s house. Eliza periodically covered Peggy’s eyes as they passed people making out against the walls, on the floor, or even in the middle of the goddamn hallway with their stupid New Year’s hats and glasses knocked askew, ignoring her hissing as she pulled at her hands. They were in sight of the door when Angelica heard Maria cry out, “Hey!” And shit, they were so close; maybe there wouldn't be a fight, maybe it wouldn't have anything to do with them. 

“Oh, Maria. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there,” was the reply, dripping with false sweetness that did nothing to hide the disdain in their tone, and Angelica took a breath. Okay, so they’re doing this. 

Maria’s white tank top was completely soaked through so that it clung to her skin and put her bra on display. Chloe and Brooke were standing in front of her with matching drunken sneers, oh, and what do you know, Chloe was holding a now-empty cup. Eliza gasped, taking off her jacket and draping it over her before ushering her out the door. “Aw, ‘Ria,” Chloe cooed after her. “I thought you would've liked letting people know that you're putting out tonight--”

Brooke snorted. “--every night--”

“--every hour--”

“--all the time!” They both high-fived, laughing until Peggy shoved Chloe. 

“God, what's your fucking  _ damage _ ?” Angelica quickly unlocked her car for Maria and Eliza before glaring at the two of them until Brooke began to shrink back. Chloe stood her ground, chin held high. Peggy kept talking, “Oh, wait, I know. (insert Santana-from-glee-level roasts)

(Chloe responds with Jake and pushes Peggy. Angelica throws out burn after burn after burn bc she's super clever and on the debate team. As they walk out the door, Brooke calls out about Maria leaving Jeremy alone.)

Peggy growled and slammed the door shut. “What's their problem?” She hugged herself tightly, storming off to Angelica’s car. 

  
Angelica still felt hot all over, like someone had draped an irritatingly heavy blanket over her that she couldn't get off. “They're their own problems, Peggy. No, wait, they're everyone's fucking problems,” she spat out, before hissing, “ _ Assholes! _ ” She slammed the door of her car as she got in, barking for everyone to put their damn seat belts on and speeding away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so ugly omg


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heather in the bathroom at the party (being -spoilers!- kinda gay)

Heather finally stumbled into a bathroom, cutting off her laughter as she slammed the door shut. She locked the door, turning to the sink and gripping the sides tight. She glared at her puke-covered reflection in the mirror. 

Veronica Sawyer was  _ dead meat _ . 

After all that Heather’s done for her, she suddenly had the  _ gall _ , the  _ audacity _ , to become a whiny little bitch. She had turned that nerdy, nobody, all-time loser into somebody worth her time of day. Veronica Sawyer should be on her fucking knees,  _ thanking _ her for making her into one of the most popular girls in school. Licking her  _ clit _ , even, and being grateful for ever being allowed that close to her snatch and--

Wait. 

Ugh. 

She was too sober for this shit. Whatever. 

Heather cupped some water from the sink and swished it around her mouth, before glancing up at the mirror again. Veronica's vomit was still drying all over her clothes and she could practically hear her yelling with a voice like nails on a chalkboard, “Lick it up, baby! Lick it up!” 

She spit at her reflection. Yeah. Sweet little Veronica Sawyer was going to regret fucking with her. 

She grabbed one of Dillinger’s white towels, one of the ones hanging from the bathtub curtain and found herself face to face with some wide-eyed kid hiding in the tub. 

For a hot second, they just stared at each other. 

He opened his mouth. “Um.” 

Oh God. 

She shrieked. What  _ fresh hell _ was this!? Who let this creepy-ass, stoner,  _ pervert _ into the bathroom!? Who lets Heather Duke decide that she could even  _ fathom _ taking charge of  _ her _ clique!? Who lets Maria Lewis think that she's so _ very _ , just because so many boys like her dumb cunt!? Who lets Angelica  _ fucking  _ Schuyler walk around like she owns the entire world!? Who let  _ Veronica Sawyer _ think that she could just  _ throw away _ the kindness that Heather’s given her!? 

He shrunk back as she stomped over. “ _ It's not what it looks like, I swear! _ ”

  
“ _ Get  _ **_out_ ** _! _ ” He scrambled for his glasses and bolted out the door as she screeched.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the me inside of me

Every great piece of art was a moment, a flitting thought, frozen for the world to see. You had to be sure about what you wanted to convey, what story you wanted to tell. And every minute had something to say; you just had to find it. Which is why John was currently climbing a tree in a locked-down orchard on New Year’s Day. 

He settled onto a snowy branch, shifting this way and that and totally not pitching backwards and out of the tree. No, not at all. 

This was a terrible idea. 

He clung a bit tighter to the tree trunk, glancing down at the ground and deciding that, no, he probably wouldn't die if he fell from this height. Which, you know, might just be him being positive, but positivity’s a good thing, as he's been told. He leaned his weight against the tree, scanning the early morning horizon (but it wasn't actually early morning, it was more like 10 am. The point still stands.) 

Anyways. 

It was a picture-perfect scene. Snow glistening off of trees, the bright sun over a white background, tiny squirrels poking their heads out of trees before deciding that it was too fucking cold to be awake and diving back inside. Definitely something he could finish with his charcoal pencil on its own. 

John turned his head to look out at the world on the other side of the metal fence. Christmas decorations littering all aspects of the various houses, with driveways that needed to be shoveled and untouched whiteness as far as the eye can see. Unmarred. Even Jake’s house in the distance looked borderline beautiful, with smoke still drifting lazily upwards from the remnants. He didn’t sigh dreamily. His pants were starting to get uncomfortably wet from the snow. A breeze blew his way.

It’s too fuckin’ cold for this shit.

His South Carolinian self wasn't made to be put in weather like this. Then again, at least he wasn't Alex. John’s mouth twitched at the thought of his best friend (boyfriend???) loudly complaining under layers upon layers of clothing. Yeah. He’d  _ hate _ the snow. 

John shimmied his sketchbook out of his backpack, along with a padded case full of pencils. He brought his knees up, placing his feet firmly onto the branch, and put some lines down on the paper, beginning to form the trees he saw. And then, a smile. Rather intense-looking eyes. A puff of hot breath next to a ghost of a chin, then John questioned his decision to even try drawing a person and promptly flipped the page. He was so  _ shit _ at art. 

He started sketching the trees again, glancing up occasionally for reference when he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head. There were two people coming out of the back of the closest house. Heather Chandler’s house, specifically, if he wasn’t mistaken. The one in blue seemed to be stumbling out of her house, the one in black sorta tugging them along. John squinted, then shook his head, bringing out his phone and turning on the camera. He zoomed in on the screen, and they were still blurry as all hell, but he could distinguish Blue’s blazer and Black’s trenchcoat. If his hands would stop shaking, maybe he could even see who they were. Not that it was any of his business, but. Y’know. Blue wasn’t looking too well, and it didn’t seem that Black was necessarily helping. 

Black paused, then turned and looked directly at him. John jumped, his numb hands fumbling before dropping his phone. 

He made a noise of distress at the back of his throat as he watched its descent to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo did you know john fuckin died


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is it yall. my favorite chapter ever. i call it, the twitter chapter.
> 
> and yes, i did pretend to be a musical buff for the entirety of this chapter.

[sent at 10:37 am]: hOLY FUCK CHLOE

[sent at 10:37 am]: YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD

* * *

**Westerburg High School** :

Happy New Year’s, everyone! Hope you are all having a wonderful winter break!

**Betty Rizzo** :

ew why does our school have a fuckin twitter account thats so fuckin gross

RT  **_Westerburg High School_ ** ’s tweet: Happy New Year’s, every…

**Frenchy** :

It’s run by a bunch of nerds with nothing better to do. (rolling eyes)

Replied to  **_Betty Rizzo_ ** ’s tweet: ew why does our school...

* * *

**Jenna Rolan** :

GUYS RICH SET A FIRE AND BURNED DOWN JAKE’S HOUSE

**Brooke Lohst** :

RICH IS TOTALLY FLECKED #whokeepsYOURflame

RT  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: GUYS RICH SET A FI...

**deborah SUE ME** :

uh. flecked?

Replied to  **_Brooke Lohst_ ** ’s tweet: RICH IS TOTALLY FLE…

**Brooke Lohst** :

did i say flecked? lol whoops i meant fucked. #autocorrectissostupid

Replied to **_deborah SUE ME_** ’s tweet: uh. flecked?

**Kat Plum** :

oh no!! that sounds terrible!! is he okay?? what happened?? is jake okay?? he burned jake’s house down, right??

Replied to  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: GUYS RICH SET A FI…

**Jenna Rolan** :

Rich is in the hospital! He looked really bad, there were like paramedics and everything!!

RT  **_Kat Plum_ ** ’s tweet: oh no!! that sounds ter…

**Chloe Valentine** : 

IKR THEY COVERED UP HIS ENTIRE BODY I THINK HES DEAD #richgoranski

RT  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: Rich is in the hosp…

**epoNINE OUTTA TENardier** :

Oh My God This Is Horrible #richgoranski

RT  **_Chloe Valentine_ ** ’s tweet: IKR THEY COVERED UP…

* * *

**(star) zoe (star)** :

wtf why did everyone change their profile pics to some blond rooster guy

**Ellen Scott** :

Didn’t you hear? Rich Goranski tried to kill himself by setting fire to the Dillinger’s house #richgoranski

Replied to  **_(star) zoe (star)_ ** ’s tweet: wtf why did everyone change…

**Frank N. Furter (three water drops)** :

apparently theyre gonna cremate whats left of his body like… yikes

Replied to  **_Ellen Scott_ ** ’s tweet: Didn’t you hear? Rich...

**The Narrator** :

hey do you guys remember that one doctor who ep where corpses pled to not be cremated or

Replied to  **_Frank N. Furter (three water drops)_ ** ’s tweet: apparently theyre gonna…

**Amber Von Tussle** :

Um excuse me can we please talk about substance abuse??? #richgoranski

Replied to  **_(star) zoe (star)_ ** ’s tweet: wtf why did everyone…

**Marc de Lafoutloud** :

…??? Wtf???? You dont even go here??????

Replied to  **_Amber Von Tussle_ ** ’s tweet: Um excuse me can we…

**Jenna Rolan** :

HE WASNT HIGH THO

Replied to  **_Amber Von Tussle_ ** ’s tweet: Um excuse me can we…

**Maria(h) Lewis (peach)** :

Okay yeah I was wondering bc ppl kept saying that he was high and rich doesnt usually do that type of shit?

RT  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: HE WASNT HIGH THO

**Chloe Valentine** :

like

literally nobody asked maria

Replied to  **_Maria(h) Lewis (peach)_ ** ’s tweet: Okay yeah I was wonder…

**Amber Von Tussle** :

What?? Really??? You’re sure???

Replied to  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: HE WASNT HIGH THO

**Jenna Rolan** :

Yess!! @whattheheckido told me that Rich hadn't touched anything, no drugs or alcohol at all!!

Replied to  **_Amber Von Tussle_ ** ’s tweet: What?? Really??? You’re sure???

**Justin time haha** :

ya he was p careful about not doing anything it was weird he was twitchy????

RT  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: Yess!! @whattheheckido told me...

**Moritz Stiefel** :

OKAY B U T DID YOU KNOW THAT HE TRIED TO SELL ME DRUGS ONCE SAYING THAT ID BE COOLER OR SOMETHING

Replied to  **_Jenna Rolan_ ** ’s tweet: HE WASNT HIGH THO

**Thea Zaken** :

im sorry, who are you?

RT  **_Moritz Stiefel_ ** ’s tweet: OKAY B U T DID YOU KNOW…

**(star) zoe (star)** :

wtf

Replied to  **_Moritz Stiefel_ ** ’s tweet: OKAY B U T DID YOU KNOW...

* * *

**Jackie boiiiiiiiiiiiii** :

HAH JAKES PARTY SURE WAS L I T #whokeepsYOURflame

**davey** :

Shut the fuck up jack

Replied to  **_Jackie boiiiiiiiiiiiii_ ** 's tweet: HAH JAKES PARTY SURE...

* * *

**roxie <3** :

my heart goes out to rich and jake's families pls show them all the support you can!! <33333333 #richgoranski #jakedillinger

**Velma Kelly (star)** :

youre so fucking fake

RT  **_roxie <3_ ** 's tweet: my heart goes out to...

**roxie <3** :

excuse me????

RT  **_Velma Kelly (star)_ ** 's tweet: youre so fucking fake

**Alana Beck** :

Hey guys, please don't fight. We should be supporting each other and standing in solidarity in these trying times.

RT  **_roxie <3_ ** 's tweet: excuse me????

**Velma Kelly (star)** :

youre fake too

RT  **_Alana Beck_ ** 's tweet: Hey guys, please don't fight…

* * *

**Kat Plum** :

the real question is tho: why did he burn down jakes house??? #richgoranski #jakedillinger #whokeepsYOURflame

**Daniela Burns (lipstick)** :

A little birdie told me that hes gay for jake and got flat out rejected so he burned his house down in revenge

But you didnt hear it from me

Replied to  **_Kat Plum_ ** ’s tweet: the real question is tho:...

**Carla Dacal (sunflower)** :

no me diga...

Replied to  **_Daniela Burns (lipstick)_ ** ’s tweet: A little birdie told me…

**Maureen Johnson** :

are you telling me he’s a flaming homosexual because #same

Replied to  **_Daniela Burns (lipstick)_ ** ’s tweet: A little birdie told me…

**Maureen Johnson** :

i mean i’m super bi, actually but whatev you get what i mean

Replied to  **_Maureen Johnson_ ** ’s tweet: are you telling me he’s…

**Daniela Burns (lipstick)** :

NO ME DIGA

RT  **_Maureen Johnson_ ** ’s tweet: are you telling me he's…

**Maureen Johnson** :

literally i've been out for months

Replied to  **_Daniela Burns (lipstick)_ ** ’s tweet: NO ME DIGA

**Carla Dacal (sunflower)** : 

OMG CONGRATS

RT  **_Maureen Johnson_ ** ’s tweet: literally i’ve been out…

**Kat Plum** :

and you didnt tell me??? wth I thought we were friends

Replied to  **_Maureen Johnson_ ** ’s tweet: literally i've been out…

**Maureen Johnson** :

YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK YOU KAT YOU LITERALLY MET MY GIRLFRIEND

RT to  **_Kat Plum_ ** ’s tweet: and you didnt tell me?...

* * *

**Westerburg High School** :

With heavy hearts, we regret to inform you that Heather Chandler was found dead this morning. #heatherchandler


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DUKE GOT SQUIPPED YALL

“Rumor has it that Heather Chandler downed a cup of Drano Thursday morning.” Jenna’s voice was uncharacteristically somber. Chloe hummed in response, still scanning the room. Whispers all around: the Heathers were all the rage.

She caught sight of the two Heathers -- McNamara barely picking at her food, hair covering her face, and Duke fixing her makeup with a compact mirror in hand -- as Brooke whispered, “No shit, really? Do you think the other three are okay?”

Jenna blinked as Chloe rolled her eyes. “Other three?”

“You know. Heather, Heather, and Veronica.”

“Didn't you hear? Veronica had a fall-out with the Heathers at Jake’s party.”

Brooke’s face fell. “I was busy,” she said, pointedly not looking at her best friend. Chloe ignored her, standing and making her way over to the Heathers’ table. There was a shuffling noise behind her: Brooke’s footsteps as she followed her like a loyal little bitch. 

Whispers growing louder. Good. 

She took a seat next to Duke, who side-eyed her for just a moment, and put on her most sympathetic face. “Hey, I'm  _ so _ sorry about Heather. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through--”

Duke coughed out a laugh, even rolled her eyes a little, and McNamara’s quiet thanks turned into white noise. She wasn’t putting on some facade of not-caring to hide her grief. Duke didn’t care. Duke didn’t care at all about the death of one of her best friends.  _ Duke had been waiting for this all along _ , a small voice at the back of her head told her. 

Holy shit.

Heather Duke was just as heartless as she was boobless before her implants. 

Well, then. “You gonna be okay? Need to talk to anyone?” She laid the sweetness on extra thick.

Duke focused on the ground, sounding almost sarcastic, “You’re too kind. But no, I’m fine.”

Tearfully: “Thanks for checking in, though. It means a lot to us, guys.” McNamara, chin wobbling and biting on her lip. Brooke pulled her in for a hug, muttering something in her ear that had her holding on tighter. When they finally released each other, they both had tears in their eyes and were smiling brightly at each other.

Chloe put her hand on Duke’s shoulder, gave it a squeeze that would definitely leave a mark, --not that she seemed to really care one way or another-- and made her way back to her table. Jenna was still sitting there, eyebrows furrowed. “That was nice of you.”

Chloe flipped her brown hair over her shoulder, a show for the lanky freshmen sitting at a table a little bit away from them. Brooke returned to her side, sitting down next to her and wiping her eyes. She scanned the rest of the room. Everyone was watching them. Whispers growing louder. “I know.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tj: whatd i miss? :D  
> westerburg: THE ME INSIDE OF MEEEEEE!!!  
> tj:  
> tj:  
> tj:

The morning had been a fucking disaster. 

No.  _ Debate club _ had been a fucking disaster. 

“God, he's such a dick!” Aaron slumped over the lunch table as Alexander slammed both of his hands down. He let his head make contact with the sticky surface as Alexander ranted on, “He uses this condescending tone when he's talking to me, as if he can tell with one glance that he's smarter than me or something, as if he's intellectually superior and let me tell you guys,  _ I am  _ **_not_ ** _ stupid _ . And not only that, his arguments were completely inane! Tell them, Aaron!” That wasn't exactly true. Alexander hadn't been able to pick apart any of Tom’s rather infallible arguments and was really just salty. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Alexander kept going, “ _ Exactly! _ Holy shit! I hate him! I hate that guy!”

Alexander groaned, prompting Eliza to pat him sympathetically on the back as Peggy shot a capital-L Look at John and Herc. “I can't believe it. Not only did we lose Lafayette to France, now we’re stuck with Thomas Fucking Jefferson.”

Angel pinched the bridge of her nose. “For the last time, we didn't ‘lose Lafayette to France.’ Alex, do you even know how student exchange programs work?”

_ The point still stands that his absence truly is unfortunate _ , Aaron thought, and he almost graced them with this thought of his before deciding that it wasn't worth it as Alexander opened his mouth to respond. Then, watching with a sinking heart as a tall figure sauntered over with a coughing Jemmy Madz following closely,  _ Really, truly, absolutely _ . 

Tom Jefferson in the flesh, looming over them in all his magenta glory. “I heard my name,” he smirked. “So, what'd I miss?” He winked over at Angel, who rolled her eyes so hard that for a moment her eyes were completely white. “Hello, Angelica.”

“Bye, Jefferson.” She stormed off, sisters in tow with matching looks of distaste on their faces. 

He kept the smirk as he turned back to the group. “She digs me.”

“It physically pains me to watch you flirt with her when she obviously hates you,” Alex deadpanned. 

“Oh, shut it, Hammy,” Tom drawled, flicking some hair out of his face and pushing it past his headband (black this time, surprisingly). “What do you know?”

“Alex is dating Eliza,” Herc said simply. From beside him, John’s jaw clenched as his eyes shifted away from the conversation. Aaron’s eyes narrowed. Alexander is such a  _ dirtbag _ . 

Tom whistled, slightly impressed, if the expression he sent to Jemmy was any indication. “ _ Wow.  _ Elizabeth  _ Schuyler _ . Bet Angie  _ loved _ that.”

Alex jutted out his chin, entirely too defiant, cocky, confident; totally a Gryffindor. “She was fine with it.”

“Whaaaat.”

“Yeah. She has no problems with me.” He grinned sharply, as if Angel didn't glare at him whenever Eliza wasn't looking. Trouble was brewing in the air, Aaron could tell with the way Alexander and Tom glared at each other, like looks actually could kill. 

“Anyways,” Aaron prompted, elbowing John and making him jolt. 

“Ow, what was that for, you  _ dick _ ?” He punctuated his indignance with a jab to the ribs. Aaron gave him a flat stare, rubbing his side before giving a pointed nod toward Jemmy.

“Um.” Jemmy coughed into his fist, one of the ones you do when you feel awkward and don’t actually need to cough. “Things have been happening, Jeff.”

(Alexander said, disgusted, “Did you just call him  _ Jeff? _ ” and mostly went ignored, except, of course, by John, who patted him on the arm.)

“What do you mean?”

“The Chandlers moved.” That was new. Something not unlike a ripple of shock swept through the group. The Chandlers had lived in their town for ages, longer than anyone could remember, and were well-established as the most influential family in the area. Aaron’s thoughts briefly flashed to Heather’s parents and how they must’ve been feeling before he willed the image away. 

Tom’s mouth was wide open. “What, why?” 

“Heather killed herself last month.” Jemmy looked around quickly, as if everybody wasn’t already buzzing about the Holy Document called Heather’s suicide note. “They, the teachers, made this big...fiasco of it. And then Heather Chandler finally achieved godlike status. She's more popular now than she ever has been, believe it or not.”

“And all she had to do was die,” Aaron mused. 

Herc smacked him on the shoulder. “ _ Dude _ !”

  
He shrugged, “I mean…” and then let himself trail off. _ It was just an observation _ was his defense, but something told him it might be better to just let it go.


	20. Chapter 20

“Um, hey. Aren't you gonna eat anything?”

Michael snorted and shook his head. Fucking prick. Jared tried to do one nice thing for someone only to have him turn around and throw shit back at him. How’d he even end up sitting with these losers anyway?

Oh, wait. He remembered now. Usually, Jared spent his lunchtime activities on his lonesome at a table in a very secluded area of the cafeteria-- y’know, because he hates people. Except _Martha_ **_Fucking_** _Dumptruck_ comes toddling in with her Jiffy Pop popcorn and her unicorns and her strange obsession with ponies and her _I just really thought we could both use some friends_ and _ugh_. There goes his peaceful life, right?

And  _ then _ , she invited Mr. Michael McLoser Mell to their table; he doesn't even do anything! He just sorta sits there, hood up, staring down at the table while Martha tries to talk to him. Thing is: he's never even listening! He wears these giant-ass headphones underneath his hood, blocking out anything that she says. It was annoying! 

And also really fucking sad, like in a “you're really pathetic and I'd give you a hug but I'm pretty sure you have rabies or STDs or something and also you're kinda gross looking” kind of way. 

But who gave Dumptruck the fucking  _ right _ to sit here, anyways? To get this other kid to sit here? They could both keel over and die, and he wouldn't give a single shit. 

It wasn't like he  _ had to _ be nice to them, after all. No one was  _ paying _ him to be their friend. 

Here's the thing, though: Martha Dumptruck and Loser Headphones Kid were both totally  _ pathetic _ . By rule of thumb, he could not, in good conscience, leave them both to wallow in their general...loserness. So, he allowed their continued presence within his vicinity. 

Which, unfortunately, lead to conversations such as:

_ “What do you think are some of Rainbow Dash’s best qualities?” _

_ “Aren't you guys excited for the  _ Mean Girls _ musical?” _

_ “If you were a puppy, what kind of puppy would you be?” _

_ “Wanna discuss some of the hidden themes of  _ The Princess Bride _?” _

“What do you think our group name should be?”

Jared slowly raised his head to stare incredulously at her. “Our  _ what? _ ”

“Our group name,” she replied, like it wasn’t something totally weird. Even Michael was looking at her funny. 

Jared threw a  _ what the fuck should I say _ at him with his eyes, to which Michael replied  _ how should I know man this is your problem _ and then promptly pulled his hood up further over his head and looked down at the table. 

_ Fuckin’ coward _ , he thought.  _ Fuck it _ , he thought. “ _ Well _ ,” he said. “ _ I _ think we should be called ‘Jared plus a couple of Lo--’”

Michael cut him off with a sharp kick under the table. “Martha, why do we need a group name?” The  _ absolute prick _ asked with a gentle tone that only served as a reminder of the burning pain in Jared’s shin.

She shrugged with a sheepish smile. “Oh, I dunno. It just feels like we should have one? Like, there are ‘the Heathers’ and ‘the Hottest Girls in School’ and ‘the Revolutionaries.’ Heck, there's even ‘the Breakfast Club!’ I just think we should have a name of our own, to show that  _ we’re _ a dynamic group, too!”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on! First of all, that’s a movie. Second of all, most of those groups didn't even come up with their own names! So why should we--”

“Maybe...the Glasses Trio?” Michael interrupted him, very rudely if he may add. 

Martha looked interested. “Ooh!”

“ _ No. _ ”

“Well, what do you think we should be called, Jared?” She asked in a genuinely curious manner that made him feel kinda guilty for not having a better idea. 

He kept silent.

“Exactly.” Michael crossed his arms looking ten different shades of smug. Jared narrowed his eyes. 

Dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like to call them the forgotten friend trio actually!! i think that was based off a fic id read at the time, called Forgotten Friend Club, so shoutout to nothing_special!! go check it out!!!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so like apparently we came up with an entire backstory for maria??? i love her.

Veronica swiped her hand across her eyes, wiping at her locker with wet paper towels until they all fell apart, falling to the floor in brown pieces. She sniffed, pressing her hands to her eyes and sitting back on her heels. Shit. Shit, it's whatever. It didn't matter. Fuck. Who cared, anyway? Who cared what those assholes thought?

The words, black and bold against drab-blue, stuck out against her locker, mocking her and her so-called “sluttiness.” Fucking idiots.  _ Kill yourself _ , the words said back. Shit. She needed to stop crying.

“Here.” Veronica looked up sharply, at whatever jackass had decided to come along and fuck with her this time. 

It was a girl, who didn’t look even particularly cruel, just sympathetic. Dark red lipstick, dramatic eyeshadow, an understanding look in her eyes. Maria Lewis, infamously known as Westerburg's resident whore. How very.

She knelt down next to her on the floor, taking out a small bottle of Lestoil and a roll of paper towels from her bag. “Always gotta come to school prepared,” she said by way of explanation, and Veronica was struck with the realization that things like this probably happened to her regularly. 

That was just how it was. Veronica winced internally at the thought, then swiftly reminded herself that it wasn't  _ her _ fault that Maria Lewis was a skank. She had always been an outcast, even in elementary school. It just got a tiny bit worse when her ex told everyone about how she slept around constantly back in Maria’s freshman year. But it wasn't Veronica’s problem, y’know? She tried not to feel like a bad person for thinking it. 

Maria began scrubbing at her locker with a sheet and a determined look on her face. Once she was satisfied that the words had completely disappeared, she turned and served her a sunny smile with a side of optimism. 

Veronica thanked her with a terse nod and quickly began gathering her stuff from the ground. The tightening pressure in her chest was making it a bit hard to breathe, and it only got worse when Maria went to help her with  _ that, _ too. “You don't need to do that,” she muttered, and held her books a bit closer to her chest. 

Maria shrugged, like it was no big deal. Maybe for her, it wasn't. “Of course I do! I just--” she shrugged again. “I had to.”

And Veronica paused. “Why?” She asked softly. 

“Wha--”

Veronica ignored her. “Because we’re the same? Because you understood? Because you thought we could be,” she scoffed, “ _ friends? _ ” She put on an imitation of Maria’s soft-spoken voice. “Oh! Woe is me. The girls at school  _ hate _ me! Oh, I know! I'll run crying into some guy’s arms -- is it Jake or Rich this week, I can't seem to remember. Not like it  _ really  _ matters, though, right?” She leaned in close to her and hissed, “Poor you.”

She could hear Heather snickering in the background.

  
Maria had tears in her eyes, and for just a moment, Veronica felt  _ good _ . Then Maria pushed her textbooks into her chest and ran off, and all the senior was left with was the rising feeling of bile in her throat.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last few things that i started writing for this fic before i dropped it. i think i got about halfway thru the story ;; sorry!! theres a slim chance that ill come back to finish one day, but...

Late winter, and there was still snow fucking  _ everywhere _ , and John was getting pretty  _ fucking _ tired of the endless piles and piles of it. Everywhere you turned, there was just  _ snow, _ and it was  _ bullshit. _

So, John was busy. Kinda. Busy in the way that meant that he was  _ supposed _ to be writing a speech, but was  _ actually  _ making himself a pencil mustache and doodling in his notebook. The point is, though, that he's stuck inside, his house surrounded by  _ fucking  _ snow because the weather hadn't gotten the  _ goddamn _ memo that it wasn't fucking supposed to be  _ snowing _ . 

...he should stop swearing so much. His younger siblings might start to pick up on it. 

Anyways. 

He was writing a speech on suicide awareness, specifically focusing on the LGBT+ community, given that he was the president of the GSA at their school. Which was all well and good, don't get him wrong, but the thing was that he had to write a speech that waxed poetic about the teenage tragedies named  _ Ram Sweeney  _ and  _ Kurt Kelly _ , and you could see where he was going with this, right? If he had to write something for  _ literally _ anybody else, he would, with fervor and determination. But they were homophobic, racist, jock assholes, and John didn't feel all too bad that they died. 

“‘Killed themselves,’ you mean,” Lafayette said when he told him this. 

John huffed. “Well, when you put it that way,  _ I  _ sound like the bad guy.”

“I am sorry, John, but I believe that you should be more, ah, sensitive to such matters?” He said it like a question, accent thick over the phone. John rolled his eyes. “That aside, it is not as if internalized homophobia does not exist. I believe you know that very well?” 

He sputtered and turned red, glancing out the window at the stupidly white scenery as if Lafayette was actually sitting in front of him and judging him with his dark eyes. “I mean, I guess,” he finally huffed. “But!” He added the next day at the lunch table, where they were having the same conversation, “you oughta admit that there's just something awfully strange about this whole situation

* * *

Jared: he should get down on his fucking knees and apologize!!!! sorry’s just a word!!!!

Michael: sorry’s a gesture and it's important!!!!!!

* * *

Peggy’s grief from zoe’s pov

* * *

Eliza wants to join the Connor Project!! Alana is NonStop!!! (Eliza's grief from Alana’s pov and Alana rejecting her)

\---

“If I could just save  _ one _ person…” she heard her muttering, an unspoken  _ then that’d be enough _ hanging in the air that almost made Alana want to pause for a moment. 

But Eliza was practically the sweetheart of little old Sherwood, Ohio. Her father was influential and her family was rich. She herself was endlessly talented and trusting and there was no doubt in Alana’s mind that she would take the world by storm one day. Elizabeth Schuyler was sweet and Elizabeth Schuyler was kind and Elizabeth Schuyler would not  _ take this from her _ . 

So, Alana let her plea roll off of her shoulders. She had a lot of work to do.

* * *

Veronica goes to visit Martha in the hospital but Jared kicks her out

* * *

After the Murphy’s rep goes down, Chloe refuses to let Zoe sit with them anymore → Chloe realizes that she was wrong and apologizes to her

* * *

Rich after asking out Michael: CANT TOUCH THIS!!!!!! IM TOO HOT!!!!

Brooke: pls tell me that's a joke rich did you burn down another house

Rich: brooke no

* * *

Michael: so rich asked me out

Jared: hWAT NO I FORBID THIS

Michael: ??????? Why???????

Martha: yeah Jared it sounds really romantic--

Jared: gIRL YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

* * *

Prom/Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

\---

She took a steadying breath, then opened the door with determination coursing through her blood. 

Time to be the fucking hero.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (oh, on that last bit. Just Veronica.)

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey if you like big crossovers with lots of kids just being dumb check out my yugioh/harry potter crossover "sir, this is a card game" im actually updating that one


End file.
